Even though I knew my trial on Thursday would be fixed, I still tried my best to prepare for it. Here is what happened after my last court appearance on Monday, December 11.
After my last court appearance, I went to the Court Registry to try to get a copy of the Trial Readiness Report (TRR). A member of the registry staff told me, having spoken to the Crown Counsel office, that I would need to call the office myself. The next day, I called the office and spoke to a secretary. Since I, not being a lawyer, did not know what was in my file, I simply requested a copy of everything. In my conversation with the secretary, I told her that I had the Particulars, but emphasized that I was requesting a copy of everything in my file. She told me I needed to wait for a week for it to be ready.
The following Monday December 18, I phoned the Crown Counsel office to follow up. I was told that my file was ready for pick-up. When I got to the office that afternoon, however, I found that only the Particulars were prepared for me. The secretary who handed the file to me would neither explain the discrepancy, nor let me speak to a Counsel about it.
On Tuesday December 19, I phoned the office again. Another secretary took my call. At first, she insisted that what I got the day before was my complete file. I asked her about the Trial Readiness Report. She then admitted that a mistake was made with respect to disclosing the TRR, but maintained that everything would have been disclosed if the TRR had been included. I then asked her about the letter(s) my Bail Officer wrote to the Crown Counsel. At first, she said there were no such letter(s) on my file. After I told her that I was told in court the previous week about such letter(s), she suddenly found the letter(s) on my file. In the end, having "found" those documents (TRR, letters by my Bail Officer and Crown's Initial Sentencing Position) in my file, she agreed to make them available to me.
On Wednesday December 20, I went in again to pick up those documents. The secretary at the front window told me that I needed to wait because Crown Counsel Bruce Stewart wanted to speak to me. I waited for more than 20 minutes, wondering what he wanted to speak to me about. In the end, the secretary simply handed me those documents without any explanation as to why Mr. Stewart changed his mind and did not want to see me any more.
While picking up those documents, I handed her a letter to the Crown Counsel with respect to the run-around I experienced in trying to receive the information about my case. I also requested in my letter that the Crown Counsel make sure everything had been disclosed to me so that I could properly prepare for my trial.
Two days later, I phoned the office to follow up on my letter. Crown Counsel Kathy Grant took my call. She apparently did not know about the letters my Bail Officer had written to the Crown on my behalf. Her ignorance on this issue caused some confusion in our conversation. Still, she was vehement that everything had been disclosed to me except for the DVD the police filmed during my protest. (The Crown Counsel would not release the DVD to me because they believed that I would use it on my website, despite my promise to the contrary. They would only arrange for me to come in to view the DVD, as Bruce Stewart told me back in March 2006.)
On Friday December 29, Crown Counsel Lindsay Wold left me a message, probably as a formal response to my letter. She still maintained that everything had been disclosed to me except for the DVD. And she could arrange for me to view the DVD "in our office".
On Wednesday January 3, I called Ms. Wold and made an appointment to view the DVD the next afternoon. She told me that the DVD is several hours long. She would arrange for somebody or herself to be present (to make sure I would not copy the DVD, I guess) during the viewing. She did not tell me that she would have to book a courtroom. In her previous message, she was clear, though, that the viewing would take place in the Crown Counsel office.
The next day, however, I felt that, with my back pain becoming acute, I would not be able to handle several hours' viewing the DVD, having been to the Food Bank and to my Bail Officer's in the morning. So I called and left a message for Ms. Wold to cancel the appointment. She called me back, apparently wanting to push me to make another appointment. It was during this conversation that she told me the DVD is only 27 minutes long and the venue would be in a courtroom. We made another appointment for 2 o'clock on Monday January 8.
On Monday, I went to the Crown's office on time. I told the secretary who came to the front window the purpose of my visit. The secretary nodded, but did not utter a word. She turned around and walked towards the inside of the office. I assumed that she was telling Ms. Wold that I had arrived. But for the next ten minutes or so, I did not see either her or Ms. Wold. I was simply left there wondering what happened.
At about 2:10, I saw someone coming in from outside. I asked if she was Lindsay Wold. She said she was. And she appeared to know who I am. She asked me to wait. After letting me wait for another 5 minutes, Ms. Wold finally came out of her office and told me that I would have to wait till 3 o'clock because, as she claimed, there was a mix-up in the booking of a courtroom.
Knowing that she knew about my back pain, I finally decided that I had enough. Besides, having finished looking through the Particulars myself - I never really studied them before - I noticed that at least one piece of key evidence was missing from them. -- When I was booked into New Westminster police cell after my protest, Sgt Kelly asked me several questions about the political aspects of my protest. This conversation or the video tape of it was not mentioned anywhere in the Particulars.-- I brought up this issue with Ms. Wold and she told me that I would have to make an application to the court to get it.
Of course, if I had a lawyer, I could have easily done that. Besides, if I had a lawyer, I could have perhaps launched a Charter challenge given the treatment I suffered while in police custody and/or the harassment and illegal surveillance I had been put through by RCMP/CSIS over the years. And if I had a lawyer, I could have asked the court to issue a subpoena so that I could expose my Bail Officer's undercover identity. If I had a lawyer, I might have been able to compel certain politicians and/or pundits to testify. If I had a lawyer, everything would have been a lot easier.
But I don't have a lawyer because my whole life is practically under the control of RCMP/CSIS, the culprit of Cecilia Zhang abduction and murder.
What barely two days to go till my trial, how do I feel?
Threatened with a possible jail sentence, strangely, I do not feel as much fear as about a month ago when I saw my Trial Confirmation Hearing approaching. I guess human beings can get used to every feeling, no matter how unpleasant it is. What I feel mostly, instead, is profound cynicism.
Although I am confident that eventually the truth shall come out and I will be vindicated, do I really have to pay such a high price in between, considering the toll it has already taken on me?
Will my seeking justice for Cecilia Zhang land me the ultimate injustice in a prison?
Will the killer roam free and the good guy get punished?
And the most cynical of all, having helped certain politicians winning their public offices with my cause, will I then have to go to prison for my cause with their indifference, if not tactical approval?
What more can I say? ... I can only rest my case.
(Some editing done 11 hours after posting.)
