As I mentioned many times before, the primary goal of my long struggle is to seek justice for Cecilia Zhang, as indicated by the name of this blog. Lately, I have been thinking quite a lot about the meaning of justice, and in particular, when justice can be considered done for Cecilia.
One
What prompted me to this contemplation exercise was, of course, events related to Min Chen's trial on May 9. To say I was dealt with a severe blow on that day is an understatement.
My initial reaction was shock and disbelief. Although I only expressed a 40% confidence with my original, and more vague, allegation that the federal government was involved in the crime against this innocent girl, I had been conservative in my estimate. My conservativeness was reflected in the following consideration: If my allegation was not reasonable, were "people in the loop", including those political and intellectual elites, in a collective, prolonged, hallucination of some kind?
If there were a massive hallucination, I know I was not part of it because I rely on facts and logic, on which my conclusion was drawn.
But I also recognize, as I did before, that there is a chance my conclusion could turn out to be wrong because I have only incomplete information directly related to the case. (What particularly frustrated and saddened me was that it would have been fairly easy to piece all the information together had the media started to do their job and ask questions.) Besides, despite the many difficulties I personally experienced in the justice system, I still trusted rule of law. So, when I learned that Min Chen had admitted in court that he caused the death of Cecilia Zhang and he did it along, I was ready to accept the Agreed Statement of Facts initially.
But I soon came back to my original conclusion, with an even stronger conviction, again on logic and additional facts from the ASOF. Honestly, if you seek truth from facts and rational analysis like I do, I believe you would reach the same conclusion.
Two
What had the greatest impact on getting me to contemplate the meaning of justice, though, were the statements by Cecilia's parents that day.
I had felt for Cecilia's parents for a long time, not only because Cecilia's death was, I believe, connected to my experience here in Canada, but also because my mother, too, lost a teenage son in an accident when I was about Cecilia's age. I knew how the loss of my brother changed my mother forever.
Still, reading the statements by Cecilia's parents, I could not help but overwhelmed by their anguish, despair and grief, even two and a half years after Cecilia was taken away from them. So when they pleaded for closure, my natural inclination was to respect their wish and do nothing.
My inaction did not help my depression. And my mother sensed my unhappiness in our daily phone calls and got worried. (She did not know that I had developed depression.) Already frail, she fell ill and became hospitalized.
While in hospital, she asked me repeatedly when I could go back to see her. What could I say, except for a vague promise in the future?
Then on May 30, she broke down in the middle of the conversation and pleaded that all she wanted was to see me one last time.
Seeing me one last time. That was a wish my father did NOT get from me when he passed away in early 1994.
I do not even want to mention the guilt I felt over the years for "running away" from my filial piety.
Three
It is obviously a tragedy for all the people connected to the case. Even the Chen family essentially said in their released statement that they had lost their only son.
The tragedy becomes even more pathetic if people could observe that it was a jealousy-motivated reference letter that started it all in 1993.
The greatest tragedy of all was, of course, Cecilia's death. Yet, the court had failed to reveal that racism is the real cause of her death. How could justice be considered done?
Nobody should use victims' need for closure as an excuse to obstruct justice. Our criminal justice system exists not only to bring closure to victim, but also to protect the general public. This time the innocent victim was Cecilia Zhang. If we fail to deliver justice now, next time it would be Cecilia Wang.
Cecilia's parents wish that "every family will live in peace". If their wish is to have any meaning, we need to expose the true nature of this hideous crime and draw lessons from it. I strongly believe Cecilia Zhang herself would have required no less from me.
Four
It is indeed a long journey for me. I just hope my persistence and unrelenting efforts in seeking justice will not be seen as excessive.
I am a naturally moderate person. Still, I had to constantly remind myself not to lose my moderation in my struggle against opponents that can be very cruel.
Indeed, moderation is a valued temperament in this polarized world. It is especially helpful in achieving reconciliation, which is, I believe, the ultimate purpose of justice.
I will bring that attitude with me in seeking to right the wrongs inflicted on me by the government. While no amount of financial compensation can bring back my 13 years of youth, I recognize nevertheless it will be a major component of the justice for me. As the amount will necessarily reflect how wrong the government was, it will likely exceed my ability to spend. Therefore, I will donate most of it to worthy causes - Darfur and new immigrants are two areas in my mind right now – just like what I proposed to do six years ago when I attempted reconciliation with those professors.
My moderation also comes from the prospective that Canada has made great progress in promoting diversity and protecting minority rights. The Chinese community in Canada especially has come a long way. I read some of the stories recounted by head-tax payers recently. The bullying and harassment I suffered at school, although extremely damaging, paled in comparison to those suffered by the early Chinese immigrant children.
With that perspective in mind, while putting more much-needed efforts into eradicating racism in every facet of our society, we can rest assured that the best of Canada is still yet to come.
